B turns 4

Brenden couldn't wait to have a Party. He had been patiently waiting through Jackson's birthday and Mom's birthday and Dad's birthday and Gavin's Birthday and he kept asking when was his party. Finally, October 14 came and he could have his party. He was very specific in what he wanted on his cake and at his party. He wanted balloons for decorations and balloons on his cake. They couldn't be any color either. Their had to be a red one, blue one, green one and a yellow one. Lots of people too. So we invited the kids from the 'hood and got all his requests in line. Mac and Cheese, Hotdogs and chips with juice boxes to drink rounded out the festivities and Brenden had a blast. Even his best girl, Kiana, came to wish him a happy birthday.

I have never been to a football game in a stadium. Either had anyone else in our family for that matter. Gavin had been asking to go to a Hawkeye football game for 2 years but tickets are not always that easy or cheap to come by. So I put it off for as long as I could and then I asked about tickets on Facebook and low and behold a friend at work had won tickets that they couldn't use. Hand them over. We will take them off your hands so they don't go to waste.

I was a great day... except the weather. We rode the train into the Kinnick then walked around looking at all the crazy tailgaters and walked around the stadium a little more. Our seats were in the end zone so we had a great view of the game and since they won, witnessing the touchdowns first hand were truly my favorite thing. Gavin had fun, too. :)

Filling Time

I need to find something to do when I need to stay up in order to take a nap tomorrow. Confusing situation for most to understand unless you work the night shift like I do. I have been off for the last 6 nights but it has taken me almost all of those nights to figure out how to sleep at night and not the day time. Except for tonight. Tonight I need to stay awake for a while so I can take a nap from 12 to 4 tomorrow so I can then be awake until 8am the next day. Make sense yet?

Anyway... I thought I would blog again on these hours that I need to fill. I think I will start tonight with adding some long over due photos to this blog showing people that even if you don't see much of me anymore the boys still have lives. (You can do the matching)
Jackson's 10th birthday
Me with Makayla a few weeks after she was born
Ken and Jackson trying on some big panties at Christy's to-be-in-laws house
Christy and Ken and kids in Moline, IL father's day weekend

School is In Session!

A fifth grader, a second grader and a preschooler woke up one morning...

Summer 2010

So, I went back to work in May and most of the summer was a blur to me but I think I caught some of it on film somehow. Trip to the Zoo. Gavin with his XBox for his birthday. Weekend trip to Chicago.

Hazel Lillian Heidenreich Winter 9/2/17-11/20/10

Dear Grandma,

It's been a long time since you've been able to carry on a conversation with me because your mind had left you without memories of what your life once was. The good thing is that I still remember. I remember going out to the cottage on the weekends when I was little. I remember the green Coleman water container that we drank out of, the sodas stocked in the fridge in the shed, the two seater outhouse with fly paper hanging in the corners, eating layered cake you brought from the bakery, watching you stand on the hill in front of the pier because walking on the pier made you dizzy, all the balls of yarn that you used to make everything you can imagine out of plastic canvas, telling stories about everyday events ear-marked by the color of your jacket at the time or the price of bread or gas, cactus plants on the window sill in the dining room, the spiral notebooks you would write prices in or figure out a math problem in, playing cards and rolling dice, cinnamon apples at thanksgiving, and eating McDonald's for lunch because it was right next door.

As I list all these things I am realizing that these things still go on around me every day. My boys are obsessed about cactus plants, Jackson can never have enough small spiral notebooks to write numbers or facts in, Gavin can remember details about events that happened 6 months ago when no one else can and Brenden all ready has a thing for McDonald's orange HiC drink. It never ceases to amaze me how God carries family traits into the next generation and I am so thankful that my boys picked up such fun traits from you.

It was sad to see you the last time and have you not remember me or other family members because your memory was what you were always known for. I know that you didn't have to suffer long the day God called you home and that helps ease the years of living unaware of what your memory had turned into. I pray that writing this down helps to not forget who you were and where we all get our little quirks from. I've missed you for a long time all ready.

Love you always!

That one stinkin' word

It's almost been six months since I have added anything to this site. A lot has changed in that time and I almost feel like a different person. So much has changed: my job status, my free time or lack there of, my kids, my house, my husband's role, the list could go on forever.

It's 1213 am and the thing I am usually doing at this time of night is working. I love my job, the joys of it, helping someone through the sadness of it from time to time, the time to have adult conversations with other women, the chance to use my education to think through what could be effecting the positive or negative outcomes of a patient's condition, even the adrenaline induced high of an emergent situation. I have always said that I wanted to have a career to "fall back on" when the kids were bigger. I don't think it's really "falling back on" at this stage in the game. Right now it's more of an additional roll. I am still the mother, the home-maker, the wife, the boo-boo fixer, the to-be-tween consultant and now I am a full time employed out of the home woman. I have never prided myself on being able to do all of those things at the same time with ease. I can usually do one thing great 100% of the time but I am not very good at doing all of those things even close to 50%, 50% of the time. Being a woman is not easy. I feel like at times I am so busy with all the things that I feel I should do that I don't even know what I need to do. In addition, I often find myself feeling like I am living in a bubble where I can see everyone else, am watching everyone else, but I can't touch them or engage with them because I am stuck behind this clear plastic, humungous bubble without an exit or an entrance. Even to type that makes me feel overwhelmed and saddened by the role I am in, the location I am in, the lifestyle I am living in. If you would have asked me 20 years ago how I thought my life would have been many of these things would have been the same: the kids, the husband, the career. I don't think that 20 years ago or even 2 years ago I could have imagined what being a working woman out of the home and in the home simultaneously would feel like, look like, taste like, sound like, live like. I know that everything/everyone needs an adjustment time, a time to get in the groove, establish the routine, weed through what works and doesn't work. I know and am once again reminded that patience is the skill I need to get to a comfortable, manageable life. It always seems to bring me back to that one stinkin' word

P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E!

(Disclaimer: I get emotional and beat up on myself a lot when I am switching from nights to a weekend off. It will look better in the morning)