Hazel Lillian Heidenreich Winter 9/2/17-11/20/10

Dear Grandma,

It's been a long time since you've been able to carry on a conversation with me because your mind had left you without memories of what your life once was. The good thing is that I still remember. I remember going out to the cottage on the weekends when I was little. I remember the green Coleman water container that we drank out of, the sodas stocked in the fridge in the shed, the two seater outhouse with fly paper hanging in the corners, eating layered cake you brought from the bakery, watching you stand on the hill in front of the pier because walking on the pier made you dizzy, all the balls of yarn that you used to make everything you can imagine out of plastic canvas, telling stories about everyday events ear-marked by the color of your jacket at the time or the price of bread or gas, cactus plants on the window sill in the dining room, the spiral notebooks you would write prices in or figure out a math problem in, playing cards and rolling dice, cinnamon apples at thanksgiving, and eating McDonald's for lunch because it was right next door.

As I list all these things I am realizing that these things still go on around me every day. My boys are obsessed about cactus plants, Jackson can never have enough small spiral notebooks to write numbers or facts in, Gavin can remember details about events that happened 6 months ago when no one else can and Brenden all ready has a thing for McDonald's orange HiC drink. It never ceases to amaze me how God carries family traits into the next generation and I am so thankful that my boys picked up such fun traits from you.

It was sad to see you the last time and have you not remember me or other family members because your memory was what you were always known for. I know that you didn't have to suffer long the day God called you home and that helps ease the years of living unaware of what your memory had turned into. I pray that writing this down helps to not forget who you were and where we all get our little quirks from. I've missed you for a long time all ready.

Love you always!

That one stinkin' word

It's almost been six months since I have added anything to this site. A lot has changed in that time and I almost feel like a different person. So much has changed: my job status, my free time or lack there of, my kids, my house, my husband's role, the list could go on forever.

It's 1213 am and the thing I am usually doing at this time of night is working. I love my job, the joys of it, helping someone through the sadness of it from time to time, the time to have adult conversations with other women, the chance to use my education to think through what could be effecting the positive or negative outcomes of a patient's condition, even the adrenaline induced high of an emergent situation. I have always said that I wanted to have a career to "fall back on" when the kids were bigger. I don't think it's really "falling back on" at this stage in the game. Right now it's more of an additional roll. I am still the mother, the home-maker, the wife, the boo-boo fixer, the to-be-tween consultant and now I am a full time employed out of the home woman. I have never prided myself on being able to do all of those things at the same time with ease. I can usually do one thing great 100% of the time but I am not very good at doing all of those things even close to 50%, 50% of the time. Being a woman is not easy. I feel like at times I am so busy with all the things that I feel I should do that I don't even know what I need to do. In addition, I often find myself feeling like I am living in a bubble where I can see everyone else, am watching everyone else, but I can't touch them or engage with them because I am stuck behind this clear plastic, humungous bubble without an exit or an entrance. Even to type that makes me feel overwhelmed and saddened by the role I am in, the location I am in, the lifestyle I am living in. If you would have asked me 20 years ago how I thought my life would have been many of these things would have been the same: the kids, the husband, the career. I don't think that 20 years ago or even 2 years ago I could have imagined what being a working woman out of the home and in the home simultaneously would feel like, look like, taste like, sound like, live like. I know that everything/everyone needs an adjustment time, a time to get in the groove, establish the routine, weed through what works and doesn't work. I know and am once again reminded that patience is the skill I need to get to a comfortable, manageable life. It always seems to bring me back to that one stinkin' word

P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E!

(Disclaimer: I get emotional and beat up on myself a lot when I am switching from nights to a weekend off. It will look better in the morning)

Makayla Raine

It's official after 32 years there has been another biological girl added to my extended family from my sister, Kari and her husband Brian. Makayla Raine was born this morning 7.14 pounds 21 inches long. Mom and baby are doing well. Dad and big sister, Nicole, are excited too! I can't wait to see her in a few days!

More Break Pictures

Spring... BREAK!

I plan! I look at the calendar months in advance and I plan! I plan the doctors' appointments, the grocery store, the birthday party, the Wild West Vacation! I know how to do that! I don't know how to let someone else plan! It's our Spring Break and all things are pointing to staying home: tailbone pain, bad behavior from children, rationing of money, no request put in for Ken to take days off... you get the point?

Ken doesn't always plan but he does like adventure and this winter the adventure was skiing and snowboarding! Ken says "WE ARE HAVING A SPRING BREAK" despite the above mentioned! Ken will have to plan it! And... he did!

We went to Wausau, Wi to Granite Peak Ski Resort to ski and snowboard! ALL OF US!

Ken and Gavin snowboarded, Jackson and I skied for the most part! Brenden took a class at the ski school and did great! I never would have thought that a product of my genes would snow ski at the age of 3 but Brenden did and did it well! (Must be the Brewer gene or the one that I carry and don't use!)

I managed to sit on a ski lift without inflicting more tailbone pain and only fell once, forward of course to prevent further injury to my backside. Gavin was totally excited about learning how to stay upright and turn on his toes and his heels. He even managed to get a little "air" coming down the hill a time or two. Jackson tried the board a few times but really just likes to go flying down the mountain on skis. I think Ken wanted to stay until every last pile of snow had melted. Strange for a Florida native! Brenden loved the attention from his instructors and enjoyed making snowballs as much as he enjoyed ducking under the arch on his skis.

I don't plan action packed trips but I am glad Ken did!

Pine Wood Derby

Jackson and Gavin are in Cub Scouts this year and it was Derby time. The boys got their cars around Christmas time but we didn't do anything with them until a week before the race. Yes, I am teaching my children the art of procrastination! I am sure that wins points in someone's book! Anyway, they each drew out the shape they wanted for their car and Ken cut them to size. I, of course, was trying to let the kids be involved by quizzing them on the type of saw Ken used and the degree of the angle needed, blah, blah blah. (Does that erase the procrastination issue?) They really just wanted to sand and paint the things so they could get onto more important life tasks. After they spray painted and stuck on decals and stickers they were ready to roll. Although, Gavin was disappointed that he didn't win a race or an award for most patriotic (I am biased and think he should have) he did have a good time hanging with his friends and earned a medal for participating. Jackson faired a little better and was in the race for 5th place and although he lost the second heat he scored a ribbon for best boy scout theme. Brenden even got a car of his own and participated in the weigh-ins and let it roll the track a few times before a major melt down because the quarter I offered him as a prize was not what he wanted. Later, Ken presented Brenden with a medal just like the other boys and he was happy again. It was a great example of scouting to include a 3 year old in the events! Thanks!

2010 Adventures so far...

So, I asked for adventures for 2010. I said that I wanted to think outside of the safe waters and go beyond the breakers, really be ready for the adventures. Well, here are the adventures so far:

Sunday 1/3/10 toilet in upstairs bathroom frozen and out of commission for the 3rd winter since we've lived in this 2004 constructed house.

Monday 1/4/10 skidded into the ditch while trying to get to a pampered chef meeting and praying constantly to not hit the telephone pole that was in front of me.

Tuesday 1/5/10 dropped tire on my foot while trying to take it to get fixed from the above mention ditch meeting

Wednesday 1/6/10 snow storm coming. Ken pulled an all-nighter. He went to bed Thursday night at 7pm on the couch after being up 36 hours

Thursday 1/7/10 snowblower has flat tire unable to finish the drive way until hours later. My brother-in-law's mother passed away. Hole needed to be put in wall of bathroom to thaw out pipe with space heater.

Friday 1/8/10 set up the scrip table at school and only sold $5.

It seems that if I ended this post here my 2010 is looking pretty bleak but that's part of the NEW ADVENTURE. Here's what I've learned from this:

The country of Norway or somewhere really, really cold makes great stretchable, flexible pipes so they can freeze numerous times without breaking

Praying will get me through anything and the Lord does protect me even when I don't talk to Him as much as I should

My foot can withstand a great amount of weight on it without breaking and a bruised foot in snow boot is not seen by anyone

Ken may be able to pull and all-nighter but I am not cut out to be a single parent and I should thank him for sticking with me through all that I have to offer him!

Shopping locally helps when you need someone to put air in a tire that is off the rim for free! A hole is a small price to pay for a working toilet. However long it was when I spoke or saw someone last it still saddens my heart to have someone depart from those we love, although it makes it bearable knowing that the struggles someone is going through on earth will be no more in Heaven!

And lastly, getting out of the house and trying to do something good needs to be enough of a reward.

What a week!

Barbie mom meets army boy

When my sister and I were 4 and 7 we played Barbies A LOT! I got to play them again with Gavin only army style! We built forts and trenches, a mess hall, and a heli pad. Then we added the guys! It was awesome. I knew it wouldn't last long after Brenden woke up from his nap so I actually remembered to take pictures so we'll have it forever! Who said boys can't play with dolls? Army dolls at least!